If you can't say something nice. . .

During a chat this week with Janet Borzelleri, she related a story about a workshop that took place at her school. Teachers role-played the various adults who cross paths with a child in a typical day: parents, bus drivers, teachers, playground monitors, crossing guards, store clerks, etc. Each teacher said one of the typical things we've all said to our (or someone else's) child: "Why can't you get up on time? Now I'm going to be late for work!" and "Why are you always so loud on the bus?" and "You're late every day to my classroom." As the comments - which didn't seem huge by themselves - piled up on each other, their possible impact on a child became apparent to the teachers. Afterward, they practiced saying a positive thing in place of the critical or negative statement.

This story has stuck with me since Janet told me. When my teen comes home and one of the first things out of my mouth is about the pile of books and clothing he's left on the living room floor for a week, should I be surprised at how hard he takes the comment? At how he tells me that he's under a lot of pressure and doesn't need to hear that just then? My comment is only one, but it's one of many he's heard throughout the day. . . along with the judgmental ones he's telling himself along the way.

Janet's experience in that exercise has caused me to reflect on how I talk to my nearest and dearest - and how I talk to myself! The negative statements that express how a particular action or circumstance leaves something to be desired sure seem to tumble out easily, don't they?

Angie's workshop last week was a study in putting affirmations of our experience, talents and strengths on paper for prospective employers to see. It was a boost to my self-image, for sure. Maybe we need to freshen up our résumés for ourselves periodically, just to be reminded of how far we've come and how much we've learned along the way.

Practice some positive self-talk this week, and find a good thing or two to say about (and to!) the people around you. As Martha Stewart would say, "It's a good thing."

Let's talk more about this at BTW on Friday at Erica's Creative Space!