If you can't say something nice. . .

During a chat this week with Janet Borzelleri, she related a story about a workshop that took place at her school. Teachers role-played the various adults who cross paths with a child in a typical day: parents, bus drivers, teachers, playground monitors, crossing guards, store clerks, etc. Each teacher said one of the typical things we've all said to our (or someone else's) child: "Why can't you get up on time? Now I'm going to be late for work!" and "Why are you always so loud on the bus?" and "You're late every day to my classroom." As the comments - which didn't seem huge by themselves - piled up on each other, their possible impact on a child became apparent to the teachers. Afterward, they practiced saying a positive thing in place of the critical or negative statement.

This story has stuck with me since Janet told me. When my teen comes home and one of the first things out of my mouth is about the pile of books and clothing he's left on the living room floor for a week, should I be surprised at how hard he takes the comment? At how he tells me that he's under a lot of pressure and doesn't need to hear that just then? My comment is only one, but it's one of many he's heard throughout the day. . . along with the judgmental ones he's telling himself along the way.

Janet's experience in that exercise has caused me to reflect on how I talk to my nearest and dearest - and how I talk to myself! The negative statements that express how a particular action or circumstance leaves something to be desired sure seem to tumble out easily, don't they?

Angie's workshop last week was a study in putting affirmations of our experience, talents and strengths on paper for prospective employers to see. It was a boost to my self-image, for sure. Maybe we need to freshen up our résumés for ourselves periodically, just to be reminded of how far we've come and how much we've learned along the way.

Practice some positive self-talk this week, and find a good thing or two to say about (and to!) the people around you. As Martha Stewart would say, "It's a good thing."

Let's talk more about this at BTW on Friday at Erica's Creative Space!

A BTW Gener8: Spring Clean your Resume!

Spring cleaning any one? It feels good to get things sorted out. For me,  this usually happens in rush before company arrives, and I barely have enough energy to enjoy my company or my efforts.
If you really think about it, whether you like to clean or not, spring cleaning  is something to celebrate. It opens up your space, refreshes, and renews your sense of place and purpose. You might actually like your space again.

Spring Cleaning can apply to just about any aspect of your life.
How about your resume? Have you given it a spring cleaning lately?
Yes, that’s right. Your resume.  When was the last time you looked at it?
Looking at your resume on a annual basis is important, in fact critical.
And the best time to look at your resume and refresh it, is when you DON”T need it.
A resume refresh can be a celebration!
Yes, a celebration.
Think about it: this is an official document.
It validates your life’s journey whatever it may be in this season:
• a stay at home mom
• an entrepreneur
• a professional with more than 15 years of steady work.
The resume documents your journey: the actions, accomplishments, courses of study, acquisition of new life skills and knowledge by choice or circumstance.

Giving yourself time to bring your resume up to date BEFORE you need it is the best gift to give yourself. You have time to carefully evaluate and identify your accomplishments. It  really is a time of reflection and celebration. And this is so true: if you don’t do it,who will?

I have learned over the years through experience and from picking up the tips and tricks of the trade to have two resumes. One that is ‘market ready’ and one that is an on-going chronological  document of work experience, employment addresses and residential addresses.
 The chronological resume documents all I have done. Literally, the names of supervisors, phone numbers, addresses of the job sites I worked at, job description, the amount I earned at the start of the job and the amount I earned when I finished the job, promotions, peer awards or employment acknowledgments, etc. The market ready one is the one I use to match my approach to the need of the job description, or as in my most recent case, the prompt to an essay.

In this global economy, so many of us have several employer addresses, with over 10 different  professional work experiences. Personally, my volunteer experiences are over 8 pages in length.  I often get my job interview opportunities through volunteer experiences.

 The market ready one is usually a ‘one page’ snap shot  and it is my  task as the job seeker to match that snap shot as best I can. With these two documents the administrative part of the job seeking process-- filling out applications, etc-- is much easier.
Remember, the resume and application process is an elimination process for the employer.
Having all your  job description in one place allows you to match the key words used in the application without struggle or misrepresentation.

I noticed it was time to refresh my resume when I received an opportunity  to submit an application that required an essay and a resume that summarized  the  last 10 years of volunteer experiences.  The ‘classic opportunity’ just ‘popped up’. I was not looking, and for a few minutes I toyed with not applying.  At first blush, this opportunity seemed way outside my comfort zone. I last updated my resume in June 2010.  In my current phase of life, I have been so busy volunteering and mentoring, I have not stopped to update my document. I needed a day to get my records up to date and then another day working on the documentation for this most recent  opportunity. Fortunately, I had a bit of time for this before the deadline, that is not always the case.

This process made me realize it is time for resume review party for all the fabulous women I meet  in this journey called life. I really enjoy the process of getting my accomplishments and new skills documented when I am not under pressure.

I also notice when I am enjoying the process, I can appreciate myself, formulate where I want to go and what I want to do next in terms of  personal and professional development. Yes, even in this economy, there is choice. For those of you who are in a place of worry due to lack of employment I propose you join us and use the refresh as a time to reevaluate how you have been going about the job search. In this job market the best way to get a job is to network with others who can help you get connected to a job interview.  The job search is for all of us, to connect each other to those we know with a need to fill.
And BTW, this is what we do best: support and encourage achievement.
Now those are life/work skills  to celebrate and document!

Join us!
BTW Gener8
Spring Resume Refresh
April 17, 2012
6:00 pm - 9:00 pm
Location: The Yuba Sutter Arts Council Conference Room
630 E Street  Marysville, CA 95901
RSVP: Angie Woodrow

April 1st update (no fooling!)

Greetings!

Happy April Fools' Day! Who got fooled today? Tell us about it in a comment below!

After a quiet March for BTW - capped by a fun games night at Barb Smith's house - we're gearing up for a fulfilling April. Each request for a BTW gathering is energizing and inspiring; it feels like marching orders. Here's where we plan to march this April (ouch):

April 14 - Saturday morning, 9am-noon: ACTU8! - Location TBD
For those of you who haven't attended an ACTU8 yet, it's a fun, "git 'er done" work session where we gather with our own projects and work next to each other for 3 hours to power through something that's been hanging over us because we can't seem to finish it. Ask someone's advice, get some inspiration, talk about what's on your heart, eat some snacks, and walk out the door with a completed project. Your project can be anything you can carry to the ACTU8! Thank-you notes, scrapbooks, quilt blocks, files, boxes of unsorted photos, jewelry, etc., etc.

Erica's Creative Space will be unavailable that day, so we're looking for another location. Offers? Please RSVP on the BTW Facebook page or by email as a courtesy to the hostess (the mystery hostess, at this point).

April 17 - Tuesday evening, 6-9pm: GENER8! - Yuba-Sutter Arts Council Room
This is a "Résumé Refresh" workshop, led by business coach Angie Woodrow. Angie will be sending out an announcement and invitation to this event, which is timely for many of us. Even if you're not actively seeking a job right now, this can be a helpful workshop to attend. As Angie says, the best time to update your résumé is when you're not looking for a job. But this workshop will cover much more than just filling in the blanks of a written document. Plan to attend, and bring a friend who wants to polish her professional presentation!

April 27 - Friday evening, 6:30-8:30 - BTW Gathering - Erica's Creative Space
This is the heart of Between the Women: small get-togethers where friendships are started and deepened, troubles and joys are shared, and new ideas and people are introduced into each BTW group. This month, bring along your current favorite book - one that's made an impact on you - and let's discuss it. Some of us are reading The Necklace, thanks to Janet Borzelleri's mention of it at a recent BTW gathering. If you've read it and have a copy to share, please bring!

The Magic Basket
If you've got something for our ongoing Magic Basket effort, please bring it to one of these events! When we've got enough to send out a basket or two, we'll put them together, add a note, and send them secretly to someone who's going through a difficult time or who could just use a sweet boost from anonymous friends. Right now we have a goodie bag from Kathy Childers, a Mary Kay hand care kit from Eivor Pfannkuch, and some handy household items from Vicki Hubbs (soaps and instant noodles). Thank you!

Okay. . . These are the scheduled BTW events for April. By the way, Barb's spur-of-the-moment games night, which was open to all BTW attendees, was a blast; it was a wonderful offshoot of the whole BTW concept. We look forward to many such get-togethers, where BTW members take the reins and host their BTW friends! :-)

Look for Angie's more detailed description of the upcoming GENER8!

Happy new week, all!